2022.01.16

1. Reporting my summary tomorrow. I’ve gone through my major project from start to finish during this period; these things probably account for about 1/3 of my total workload. It’s been 3 years, I realized—this is all the proof I have for my 3 years of work.

2. Did a quick calculation: I’m still missing about 3-4 sets of experiments for the final thesis. Heading home on January 24th, returning on February 19th, and submitting the thesis for blind review in March. The plan is to finish half before January 24th, do the other half when I get back, and write the thesis while I’m home for the New Year.

3. Of course, that’s assuming everything goes smoothly. I’ve already fallen out with my junior supervisor, and I don’t know what tomorrow will bring or if they’ll dump another load of crap on me, but I’m not prepared to compromise on anything anymore. If they want to push it, I’ll push back—at worst, I just won’t get the degree.

4. At first, I thought my research direction was super badass, something no one in the academic world had ever done, and I really felt that “none but me” sense of destiny. Now that I’ve finished going through it, I just feel like it’s a pile of absolute shit. A person’s 3 golden years spent with so much taxpayer money to produce a pile of shit like this? Congratulations to the scientific community for getting their hands on a premium piece of golden shit.

5. I’m past caring now. I’m just this kind of person: “no respect for father or ruler, no regard for home or country.” If I want to, I can treat people’s face with zero respect, and throwing in the towel is purely up to my whim. Of course, if I really wanted to, I could be a willing workhorse with no complaints, but maybe that’s just the kind of labor supervisors hate the most.

6. I originally thought I’d be able to leave with 3 papers, but given my relationship with the junior supervisor, I expect they won't even let me have one. Well, that’s fine; if you don’t put my name on them, I’ll delete the raw data so you don’t get it either, and then I’ll report you for academic misconduct. Even if I don't enter academia, I’ll still make you sick enough to never get that associate professor title—you can just spend the rest of your life with your cat.

7. Looking back, it’s truly magical. When I was working on a short-term, fast-paced project with that junior supervisor, it went so smoothly, seamless integration. When problems arose that others couldn't solve, it felt like, “I guess it’s up to me to step in,” and the figures just came out one after another. The paper was slated early on, starting in August and basically finished by November—everyone was happy. I never could have imagined then that things would end up like this today.

8. Because I had to analyze gene correlations and 5-year survival rates, I used TCGA and GEO databases, which gave me, a computer-illiterate half-wit, a deep experience of how tough it is. I’ve also deeply realized that programmers are the real laborers who output value in today's world. Looking at my work, I’m actually thinking about switching to bioinformatics.