#小卖部的小音响

Spring breeze doesn't understand sentimentality, stirring the heart of a youth

Yes, a routine seven or eight o'clock, some rare comfortable sunshine, an ordinary road, a common tree, a crowd of anxious commuters, and that unlucky me among them. The dirt on the tree just flew onto my belly, for no reason at all. I didn't even put any effort into distinguishing whether it was bird droppings or an earthy kiss, because it seemed my flimsy destiny with it had already been sealed with a stamp on my white coat, swearing eternal companionship in its unique shade of brown. I stared blankly at the tree, wanting to give it a kick, sigh, helpless, what else could I do, just another unlucky day. "Looking at the busy world, does it still, spin endlessly in loneliness......" Fortunately, the rushing crowd won't pay much attention to who suffered another mishap, it only feels safe after stepping into the elevator shuttling between the high-rises. Fortunately, by zipping up the coat, others and I myself can no longer cast eyes on that wretched mark. Frowning and lying to myself, I have to hurry, don't be late, tomorrow will be better, I think.

The day's busyness and the cover of my coat only provided a slight distraction; moments later, the feeling of stifled frustration bubbled up again. The sunset, accompanied by the gentle spring breeze, seemed at odds with me. I chose to walk for a while, to listen for its answer, before desperately squeezing into a packed car at the next station. Watching the shifting scenery actually brought some relief; those subtle details I hadn't noticed for a long time, such as the temperature signaling spring and the gradually later darkness, such as people starting to stop for the fire-red and blue-bottomed sky, people lingering by the vibrant yellow flowers on the roadside. The moon began to peek out in the east, and I thought, everything isn't so bad after all. Later, I didn't get on the bus at the next stop, scanned a shared bike beside me while I was lost in thought, and rode home. When I arrived downstairs, I saw someone struggling with many courier packages and ran over to help her, but didn't stay long. We were both wearing masks and kept silent, but I saw a hint of light in her eyes, as if she were expressing thanks with a touch of surprise. I gave a plain smile to tell her no need to thank me, and hurried away, yet my heart was setting off fireworks and skipping for joy. As a random part of the world, I decided to start practicing from myself, for instance, "Definite love, direct hatred, sincere liking. Standing under the sun with magnanimity, praising myself loudly and without shame.¹", changing that tiny part of the world, that’s quite good, that’s enough. I think, tomorrow will be better. "Reach out your hands, let me embrace your dreams, let me hold your sincere face......"

⑴ Huang Yongyu 《Along the Seine to Florence》